Gene Simmons told CNN this morning he will begin selling his own feces at the Walmart KISSKorners currently set up in Walmarts around North America. Via a phone interview Simmons said,
"Everything starts with a notion, and that leads to another notion, and that notion leads to a pull at the old heartstring. You may be asking if I want fries with that? But I will be asking, would you like my turd with that? KISS fans collect everything, and I saw an opportunity there. Everyday I take a healthy dump, it all goes to waste. Not anymore. Walmart will set up coolers in the KISSKorners to make sure you receive your Gene Simmons turd in the freshest possible condition, and with maximum potency. It will include a certificate of authenticity(no Tommy turds), and will also have info on what I had for diinner the night before, and also what thoughts were going through my head while I "gave birth" to your new collectible. I've told executives at Walmart that my shit does not stink, so they shouldn't worry, as I wear more makeup then everybody's Mother and Daughter combined. I am Indy, buy my turd."
Walmart will sell the feces for 19.99, and several employees have already quit their jobs upon hearing of this latest business endeavor with Simmons.
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Gene and BAG have already written a song for selling Gene's feces. The song is not out yet, but here's the chorus, which will also be the products slogan:
ReplyDelete"No bullshit, it's my shit!"
I heard if Gene has diarrhea, it will cost more, as well as be more valuable in the future.
ReplyDeleteColostomy is not my bag.
ReplyDelete