KKS-topics killed by breast cancer

Several KKS-topics fell victem to the horrible disease known as breast cancer. CEO Fallen Angel explains:

"Breast cancer is a horrible disease. It destroys that which all men  love: the wonderous breasts of woman. We all wear pink ribbons here at the KKS-offices to support the fight against breast cancer. Fro is even wearing nothing but a pink thong.

Several KKS-topics have been killed by this disease. Last week, Peter Criss, the famous LIPPS-drummer, revealed on his website that he had been diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008, but has since been cured.

But with this news, breast cancer has made freash victims. Now, moob jokes, are all of a sudden not funny anymore. Several topics that were in the works, have now been killed off. The return of former president Hank Habanero now seems even more of, since he can now no longer post his favorite pic, just 'cause it isn't funny anymore. Paul seems like a likely candidate for breast cancer, so joking about his moobs are out of the question.

But luckily, there are now about a dozen schlong topics in the works, so we do feel adament that the KKS will not suffer because of this."

Serious question

If Peter's dick was on your shoulder, would you want him to get off?

Modern Day Habanero lyrics

I still remember when I saw your post in the chatroom
Was compelled to read it, but that would seal my doom
I know you wrote it in your coffeebreak
But I always love your insightfull take

Loved those days (loved those days), Modern Day Habanero
It's time for you to read
You have to behave (alright!), Modern Day Habanero

Listen!
No more fake posts on the FAQ
You gotta realise the new KKS is good
All your readers are on their knees
They're crying "Hank, come back, please"
Loved those days (loved those days), Modern Day Habanero

It's time for you to read
You have to behave (oh yeah), Modern Day Habanero

Hey!
The old KKS is gone
The admin's the reason for the damage done
Too many post about Sophie Tweed
Take the leeeaaad!

Guitar Solo

I know the FAQ was our big break
But Hank, staying away here would be a big mistaaaaake....

It's time for you to read
Loved those days (loved those days), Modern Day Habanero
Shame, shame, shame on you Hank
Try to behave (c'mon now), Modern Day Habanero
Yeah, yeah, it's time for you to read
Loved those days (loved those days), now you'll pay, Habanero
Try to behave (oh yeah), KKS' decay, Habanero

KKS fans demand more KISS topics and less Fro topics

An anonymous spokesperson for the KKS-fans, only known as BD, demands "that the KKS immediatelly returns to it's classic roots, mainly KISS topics."

BD: "We don't need to know all about Fro, if I wanted to know all about him, I'd go to the FGS: Fro Gayclown Sex. I won't be watching Fro's first new KKS post that's for sure."

In other breaking news, the KKS intended to put up a clock counting down to Fro's first post, but finally came to the conclusion that none of the staff have the technical know-how to impliment this latest, greatest, ground-breaking idea.

New KKS movie-"KKS meets the FRO of the park"

Big news fuckers, so listen up....Just got done meeting with some very important people in my bathroom, and it looks like the new KKS movie is gonna happen. Can't say alot about it now so don't worry, but the story revolves around a small rundown carnival in Kentucky that becomes overrun with evil robots posing as famous KKS personalities Fallen Angel, Hankers Habanero and Missingdiver. The villian is FRO, a twisted, maniacal, fruity ass clown who refuses to wear pants. There will be alot of foul language as well as some disturbing sex scenes so beware.

Sophie Simmons will make a guest appearance in a sex scene with Missingdiver. More details soon...

Fro1013 to join KKS?

Rumors have been flying around the men's room here at KKS that Fro1013, the infamous gay clown of KISSfaq fame may be joining the staff here at the KKS. Time will tell if Fro will be able to work side by side with the KKS staff without all the innappropriate touching and beverage urination pranks that tarnished his legacy at KISSfaq. Time will tell....Stay tuned.

Simmons glues hand to Carrot Top's penis

A close call tonight in NYC. Gene Simmons reportedly once again had a close call with crazy glue, and oddly enough Carrot top was again involved. Details are sketchy at this point, but some how Simmons hands became glued to Carrot Tops penis around 6pm which caused a commotion since KISS was to be on stage at Madison Square Garden at 9pm.

Paul Stanley came to Gene's rescue and was able to free the bassist's hands sources close to the band say.

"It happens to the best of us." Said Stanley to reporters who had gathered outside their dressing room.

Carrot Top and Simmons refused to comment.

Gene to sell his feces at KISS Korners

Gene Simmons told CNN this morning he will begin selling his own feces at the Walmart KISSKorners currently set up in Walmarts around North America. Via a phone interview Simmons said,
"Everything starts with a notion, and that leads to another notion, and that notion leads to a pull at the old heartstring. You may be asking if I want fries with that? But I will be asking, would you like my turd with that? KISS fans collect everything, and I saw an opportunity there. Everyday I take a healthy dump, it all goes to waste. Not anymore. Walmart will set up coolers in the KISSKorners to make sure you receive your Gene Simmons turd in the freshest possible condition, and with maximum potency. It will include a certificate of authenticity(no Tommy turds), and will also have info on what I had for diinner the night before, and also what thoughts were going through my head while I "gave birth" to your new collectible. I've told executives at Walmart that my shit does not stink, so they shouldn't worry, as I wear more makeup then everybody's Mother and Daughter combined. I am Indy, buy my turd."
Walmart will sell the feces for 19.99, and several employees have already quit their jobs upon hearing of this latest business endeavor with Simmons.

Devil Bat Bird strikes again

Police in Santa Monica California responded to a complaint last night. It appears Gene Simmons's, famed bass player for Bullfrog beer, pet bird, otherwise known as "Devil bat bird", has once again attacked former Chelsea drummer Peter Crisscoula who lives under the pier.

I'm out here trying to live my life in harmony with the ocean and the other bums under the pier, and that fucking devil bat bird keeps attacking me. He flew off with my latest tapes for my rock record. I worked hard on those tapes! Now I'll have to start over. Paul Shaffer said he will not come back and redo his piano tracks because it smells like dead fish under here and there is no toilet, so fuck him, but god him bless too. It really breaks my heart, but this one goes for you Mom. God bless. High tide. Pro mark.

Failed KKS/Ace Frehley collaboration

The KKS missed out on a great oppurtunity when the KISS FAQ took the KKS offline. Ace Frehley was looking for a producer for the iTunes exclusive track The Return Of Space Bear.

Ace Frehley: "The KKS was the perfect fit to produce this song. But I couldn't find them anywhere around that time. Hearing that the KKS is back now, and having turned to another producer meanwhile, is devistating news to me.

But all in all the track came out great. I turned to the second biggest joke of an organization in the world: Abramson/Simmons."